When a Foster Kitty Dies

Having a foster kitty die is one of the worst things imaginable. Whether you’ve been caring for a foster with a chronic illness for a long time and you knew that the end was coming, or if your kitty became ill unexpectedly and died or had to be euthanized, it is incredibly difficult. If you’re going through this right now, please know that we are so sorry for your loss, and we are grieving with you. Even for those of us at VOKRA who have been doing this for years and years, it never gets easier. Each loss is heartbreaking, and we are here to offer as much support as we can.
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There’s nothing that can take away the pain of losing a foster kitty, but there are some things you can do to make space for your feelings and process your grief.

Your Grief is Unique

When you are grieving the loss of a foster kitty, it is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Each person experiences grief in their own way, and you should allow yourself to grieve in a way that feels right for you. Let your Navigation Team, your friends, and family know what happened and what you need from them. Maybe you need to talk. Maybe you need a major distraction. Maybe you just want to curl up in bed for a few days. Do whatever you need to do, and make sure the people around you know what you need and how to respect your wishes.

Process the Natural Feelings and Push Back on the Harmful Ones

You probably have a lot of different feelings right now. Grief and sadness, but also anger and helplessness that this happened to your kitty, or uncertainty and fear about what caused it and whether other kitties in your home may be at risk or that they will be sad without their companion. All of these feelings are understandable and reasonable. Let yourself express them in whatever way feels right.
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If your kitty died from a sudden illness or a long fight with a chronic illness, and you find yourself feeling guilt for what more you could have done, we encourage you to push back on those feelings. Without VOKRA and the love and security of the foster home you provided to your kitty, they almost certainly would have had a much shorter and much more difficult life. The time and love you gave them was the best thing that could have ever happened to them, and we are all thankful that you were able to offer that to them.

Take a Break if You Need to

Losing a foster kitty can be really traumatic, and we completely understand if you need to take a break from fostering. If you have other foster kitties in your home, and you don’t think you’re up for continuing to foster them after this loss, reach out to your Team right away, and they can help you figure out a solution.

We hope that you will come back when you’re ready. Every experience you have as a foster, including the really difficult and painful ones, set you up to be an even better foster, and we hope you will bring all your knowledge and experience back to help more kitties in the future.

Resources